A key of phrases and words

Phrases and words you need to know. Please note, this list is an ongoing process as blogs are posted, new words and phrases will appear in this list to help you better understand the story.


Classy Keys - A state of mind in which Mike loses the ability to reason. Symptoms include heavy whiskey consumption, followed by stumbling, ranting and general bridge burning.

Van Damme style – A versatile word used as a verb, noun or adjective. Generally anything Van Damme style is associated with all that is bad ass. This may or may not include kicking two guys simultaneously in the chin, avoiding electrocution by doing the splits on a counter top or rooting a palm tree with a few swift kicks.

Il Postino – The act of posting up all day. Activities include: juggling a soccer ball, people watching or passing time, stimulated in verse with a chance encounter. Sub note: also an epic love tale in which the post man delivers more than care packages.

Bird Shit – Not the fecal matter that collects on countless windshields, but rather a puke that is delivered with high velocity and low volume. Generally takes place in alleys, trash cans and whiskey shots with grudges against gravity.

A Walk to Remember – Long distance, alcohol induced walks taken on a whim. A Walk to Remember typically includes navigation, luck and the burning desire for a blanket and a pillow.

Mother Goose Stories – Stories told by your mother before bed, but popularized by lies so unbelievable and delivered without compromise, that their existence should remain within the pages of a Mother Goose story. It should be added that questioning the stories' truth is neither rewarding nor necessary.

Thirsty – A term saved for the description of a drought only quenched with hops and barley.

Noley Bear – A traveler's worst nightmare. Favorite Girl Scout cookie: tag-a-long.

K-Pax – Any person who sells sunglasses, umbrellas or pointless trinkets or anyone who responds to generous seat offerings with a drunken rant spoken in tongues.

Sloish (aka sloshen) – A response or greeting to any foreign person who's native speech is beyond recognition. When used with a smile and wave, sloish/sloshen can break any language barrier.

Costanza – The ability to sweet-talk/lie your way in or out of any social interaction.

The Walkin' Blues – A condition that occurs in any humid climate. Target areas include any body parts required in the act of walking. Specifically parts that would be frowned upon if exposed in a public forum.

P.O. - An aroma that arises in the wee hours of the night. Reserved for top-hostel patrons. Often seen with the Walkin' Blues.

Purple Haze – A violet explosion due to rapid consumption of red wine. A psychedelic cousin of the bird shit, also typical, but not reserved for alleys, trash cans and toilets.

Old Speckled Hen – Inspired by a delicious British brew in which a tennis shoe is splatted with the excrements from a forgotten night's activities.

Lost Souls – Found in abundance in any urban European area. High concentrations in clubs, bars, town centers and Spain.

Blake Snake Moan – A serpent, dark in pigment,loose in consistency, that strikes with little to no warning. Natural habitat is a stomach not yet adjusted to foreign cuisine.

Weekend at Bernie's – The Mediterranean sun's relentless barrage on an unsuspecting epidermis. Results include peeling and in-prompt u Aloe Vera applications.

Bevy – An afternoon beverage served as an interlude to the next destination. Also see tubie.

Tubie – A beverage consumed on any subway system en route to the next destination.